I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
