god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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