so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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