whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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