he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I supernannyed him into submission
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
