I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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