i just wanna soil my oats bro
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
