Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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