Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
