just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
