dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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