Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
