Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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