i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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