you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
