The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
its not stalking. its research.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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