butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
