Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How's work?
Spinning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
