I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
only you would photoshop your dick
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize