Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
