So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
