Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize