I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My vagina just recognized that song.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
