Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
