i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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