I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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