I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
