are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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