You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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