I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
