the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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