My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
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