you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
