jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize