I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.