Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.