$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.