You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him