it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
