yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
