is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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