Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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