Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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