She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
