this just has baby written all over it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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