Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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