are you still at the devil's house?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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