We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
this hospital has no fireball
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
