my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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