Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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