The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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