everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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