I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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