I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
