Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
