Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
