Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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