its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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