is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize