Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
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So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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