What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
