I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
