If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
