and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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