Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
