you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
