I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
