White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
